Kirby: The Super Star Wars
by ThatGuy58
Summary: A parody of Kirby Super Star... Ultra. Join Kirby and his friend Parasol as they go on strange and amazing adventures! DynaBlade Conclusion: It Ends... Again!
1. Spring Breeze: The Phantom Penguin

**-Kirby: The Super Star Wars- **

Act 1: Of food thieves and Penguins

Once upon a time there lived a planet named Pop star.

**Player: "Is that where all the pop stars go when they die?" **

(_chirp chirp chirp_)

Bad puns aside, it was the happiest and most cutesy place ever, showing that good games aren't always violent.

**Player: LIES!**

Shut up. Anyhow once upon a time the evil King Dedede, even though he is more good then evil, was very hungry.

"Hhhhhmmmmm…." He muttered looking at his empty fridge. "I do feel quite famished, but instead of, say, buying groceries, or growing my own food, I shall steal all the food in Dreamland!" He then shouted, while stroking a cat and doing his Goldfinger impression.

**Player: Ugh, great, he's a James Bond villain.**

"So is /Eggman!" He retorted.

**Player: …Good point.**

So the king went into town with his TACs who were certainly not cat burglars, because their name is spelled TAC not CAT. So they took the stuffing, and the inhabitant's feast, they took the waddle pudding, and the roast beast!

**Player: You Monster! **

But, during their raid, at some point they found Kirby and his friend Waddle Dee sleeping in their beds. The king took in this moment.

"Hmmm, my enemy is sleeping cozily in his bed, completely defenseless… which gives me the perfect chance to ignore him completely! I'm a genius!"

**Player: Yup, he's a Bond villain."**

The next day…

Our heroes, Kirby and Waddle Dee, were discussing the food shortage.

"Why are you guys always blaming me for your problems? Kirby, you ate all our freeze dried foods, Kirby, don't eat the orphan's food, Kirby, stop eating me, Kirby, if you don't stop eating our profits, I will shot you, Kirby, get me to the hospital, I shot myself by accident." Kirby, a little adorable puffball,mocked.

"Well, maybe you wouldn't the prime suspect, if you didn't have a habit of eating ANYTHING!" Waddle Dee pointed out, making a red vein pop up.

"I do not!" Kirby retorted while ripping off part of the sky and eating it. "I blame King Dedede! He's always doing stuff like this."

Three weeks ago

Waddle Dee and Kirby were walking when suddenly Waddle Dee was hit by a random bus. Kirby got angry because in the chaos, he lost his cookie.

"DEDEDE!"

Two weeks later

Kirby and Waddle Dee were camping. While Waddle Dee was attacked by rabid hornets with the common cold, Kirby was trying to read the map when the sun went down that evening. Naturally Kirby got angry.

"DEDEDE!"

A week ago

Waddle Dee and Kirby were just randomly staring at nothing. Waddle Dee blinked and then Kirby got angry.

"DEDEDE!"

And while he was screaming, the king and Bandana Waddle Dee drove right over parasol Waddle Dee.

Today

"That's it!" Kirby started, "Too many times has the King disrupted his own kingdom and refuse to help. Someone out is probably not going to take this sitting down! Maybe it's me or maybe it's me, but I know it is not you, so let's go kick some penguin butt!"

**Player: That's about the closest Kirby will get to being a politician.**

Waddle Dee looked confused before sighing in defeat and joining Kirby on his journey to topple the empire in

**Kirby Super Star**

**Episode I: The Phantom Penguin.**

**Part 1: Of Forest and islands**.

Kirby and Parasol (Waddle Dee's nickname) went off to green greens because the King has a golf course there. Parasol looked at a nearby sign while Kirby tried to eat the butterflies.

"'Warning,'" He read, "'Please refrain from attacking the butterflies, lest the "butterfly defense squad" appears to kill you.' Pretty strange sign hey, Kirby?" Parasol then turned around to find Kirby running away from an attacking squad of endless butterflies. Needless to say, he didn't make it out alive. But like Kenny, he came back and we shall forget his death ever happened.

As Kirby and Parasol were walking, they spotted, jolly, old man, Waddle Doo.

"Hello friends." He said. "Lovely day isn't it- AAGGHH!" Sadly, Kirby ate the jolly old man.

"Why did you do that?"

"Because he would've just rambled on for years on end. Besides…"

YOU GOT BEAM!

The duo then came to a special room which contained a maximum tomato. These were a sought out food product in Dreamland. This ordinary tomato with an M on it, could fix any problem no matter how trivial, just by eating it. Wars have broken out due to this heavenly vegetable. It was a force to be reckoned with. Parasol and Kirby looked with a longing for it. But an, evil, cannon stood in the way of the perfect plum-thingy.

"Okay," Parasol announced. "It fires three rounds every ten seconds so what I think we should do is-"

"HUMANSHIELD!"

Parasol met with Kirby near Whispy Wood's … wood, (Not THAT wood either) carrying a flag saying `if you can read this, I hate you. `

"There you are Waddle Dee." Kirby said while Parasol was giving him the bird because, apparently, Waddle Dees have fingers.

Inside Whispy's domain…

Kirby and Parasol appeared in a small arena as they confronted Whispy Woods.

"Whispy!" Kirby shouted. "You have been helping King Dedede steal all the food in Dreamland! PREPARE TO DIE!"

Whispy Woods then started crying "How could I steal all the food? I'M A GIANT TREE!"

"OBJECTION! You stated in court you are a tree, but in Kirby's Dreamland 3 You MOVED! If you aren't a liar then may I point to exhibit B: THIS APPLE!"

The jury gasped as Whispy started crying, Kirby continued to use his Phoenix Wright powers and Waddle Dee-

"ENOUGH!, YOU (points to Whispy) STOP CRYING, YOU (points to Kirby) PLAY TOO MUCH PHOENIX WRIGHT, YOU TWO (points to Chief Wiggum and Officer Barbrady) ARE THE STUPIDEST COPS IN TELEVISION HISTORY, AND WHO THE HELL ARE ALL OF YOU (points to the jury)" Parasol ranted. Everyone then did the best course of action: flee in fear.

"That generic enemy with a girly umbrella," ("It's a sun umbrella!") "Is right! Look out Kirby because I'm ready for you!" Whispy announced. Then the fight finally began. Kirby and Parasol went into defense mode while Whispy attacked with-

"Apples?" Yes, Whispy Woods attacks with apples. To clarify, he attacks with FRUIT, to a puffball that eats anything. And some people wonder why he's the first boss (Not really.)

"Yes, they're apples all right. POISON apples! Whispy woods, why are you the first boss?" Whispy muttered to himself. Parsol then used his umbrella to drill Whispy's base only to find that it was too hard. We think. Maybe.

"Kirby! His wood is too strong!"

"Oh no! Whispy has a strong wood!

Hahaha! Yes, my wood is super strong!"

"Wood!"

"Wood!"

"Wood!"

"Wood!"

"Weewee!"

Interpret that any way you like.

**Player: Suddenly, I don't want to play this anymore. 0.0**

But, thankfully Parasol was wrong and Whispy Wood's… you know what, was actually very weak and the phantom tree was killed. But he died the way he lived: a crybaby. Out of the dead tree's corpse rose a star wand, showing the exact location of the other wands. But before they left, Kirby put on a pair of sunglasses

"Looks like this tree… has been cut!"

**!**

**Player: How many more detective show parodies are there going to be-**

_In the court of justice law, there are many positions. The lowest one is known as a Kirby because… well, when he tries to fix a situation, he only makes things worse._

_Float Islands lagoon_

_4:00 PM_

Waddle Dee and Kirby were overlooking a view of the ocean. It was a beautiful ocean with a tower looming in the background for some importance later in the level like a Chekhov's Gun.

"Oh Parasol, look at this view of the ocean! It'll be great for my Facebook page!" Kirby remarked. Parasol just sighed before responding with:

"Kirby, I'm your always angry and disapproving friend, and I kind of like it, so I have absolutely no shame or regret in saying that you have to be a ****ing idiot to drop everything important for a Facebook page."

_Meanwhile, a not so long time ago, in a dimension far, far, far, far, far, far, far… far away… _

Link and Navi were racing to deliver the three gems (Read: Plot coupons) To the castle to stop Gannondorf's plan of stealing the Triforce (While inadvertently allowing him to get the stupid thing in the first place thus dooming hyrule for years until, Link defeats him and disappears, and Hyrule is flooded, but also creating a separate timeline where he gets out anyway and-(Oh no, I've gone cross-eyed..)) When Link stopped suddenly.

"Navi," He said. "Look at the sunset." Navi got furious.

"Why are you looking at the sunset? We have to get these gems to Princess Zelda!"

"Oh Navi, you just need to appreciate the simple things in life." The two then argued for hours on end.

Meanwhile in the temple… of TIME BWAHAHAHA!

Ganondorf was waiting for Link. He was going to call King Dedede to talk to him about their evil plans but…

_Ganon and Dedede were at a restaurant and talking about their cellphones (don't ask me how Ganon had a cellphone, he just did) and Ganon asked the fat penguin what cellphone plan he had._

"_I have AT&T… I'm screwed aren't I?"_

**Player: Shame on you Dedede. SHAME ON YOU!**

_In the present…_

Kirby and Parasol saw an extra life in the air.

"Oohh, I'll get it!" Kirby said as he ran to the extra life.

"Kirby NO!"

At a graveyard there lie a single grave. The grave, upon closer inspection, read "ROSEBUD"

"All theses random future burst are really screwing with my internal system." Parasol said as Kirby returned, unharmed by the random bombs in mid air.

They eventually came to a castle where Kirby gasped in wonder, while Parasol gasped on horror. It was candy! DUN, DUN, DUUUUNNNN! You see, Kirby loved candy. And when he has candy, he snaps. Goes Ax crazy. Off the deep end. So if you see Kirby when he has eaten candy, run. Run fast. Speed-that-would-put-Sonic-The-Hedgehog-to-shame fast.

"Look Waddle Dee, its candy!" Kirby exclaimed. And then he ate it all in one gulp.

"… Kirby." Parasol started, "Are you… okay?"

"… CANDY POWERS ACTIVATE!" And, leaving white and red stripes behind him, Kirby flew off.

"Did Kirby just… Nah I must be imagining things." Parasol then continued on… but not before coming back and doing a double take.

_At Castle Lololo…_

_Tower 1_

_4:45PM_

Mr. Frosty had a simple job of protecting the first tower from harm.

"Gosh," He tempted, "I sure hope no insane, candy high, invincible puffballs that could one hit K.O. me come by!" As soon as he finished his sentence, Kirby came in holding an axe. "Aw son of a-"

_Castle Lololo_

_Tower 2_

_4:?_

Lololo and Lalala were happily pushing blocks around for no real reason when Kirby appeared.

"Ha-ha Kirby, we've been expecting you." Lololo and Lalala said in unison. "And now we shall have our-

" BWAHAW!"

Before Kirby entered the boss room, he ate a bomb, which gave him the explosion ability. He decided that now was the time to use the ability, which decimated the castle, killing everyone except the puffball who flew up into the clouds. Parasol witnessed this first hand before sighing and using his namesake to fly up.

**So ends the first half of this climatic adventure. Will Kirby save Dreamland's food? Will Parasol stop being such a Kenny and stop dying? Is King Dedede screwed for having AT&T? Is TAC really CAT backwards. Next time on The Phantom Penguin: Kirby and Parasol end up in a place where the sun doesn't shine. And after that: The airship filled, Boss rushed, finale!**


	2. The Hammer of Doubt:Rise of the Bosses

**I apologize in advance for the following:**

**A. Spring Breeze is almost, but not quite, over yet as The final Battle is not in this chapter**

**B. The long update time. To be fair, this is the second longest chapter I will probably ever write. (SSHFGD has one that's not even close to finished and it already has 18 pages.**

**C. If this chapter is not as good as the previous one. (Blame the length. The Final Stage was suppose to all be in here, but I cut out Dedede's battle for now.)**

**Enjoy your feature presentation (1 of 2)**

**Last time on the Superstar Wars….**

**Kirby wasn't going to let "The Man"**

**Push everyone around anymore.**

**With his best friend, the cynical Parasol**

**By his side, the duo went out to save**

**The citizens from hunger**

**At the end of their trip from**

**The float islands, Kirby went into the**

**Atmosphere due to his suger high**

**(Invincible candy: It makes ecstasy look like hot chocolate)**

**We continue after several months or two with everything up to the final battle… **

**The**

**Super**

**Star**

**Wars**

**Chapter 2: of Clouds Blimps, and Bosses…**

Kirby awoke in Bubbly Clouds, a place made up completely of clouds. He then realized that he was hungry and ate a cloud to see how it tasted. The result?

"Ewww! This doesn't taste like cotton candy! Only air!"

He then looked to see a bunch of blocks leading to a doorway… and on the other side of the doorway was a maximum tomato!

"Hmmm… I'm running the risk of falling to my death… Then again, it is a maximum tomato… then again, it is a Kirby game.

**Player: I say take the risk. What could go wrong?**

Kirby then ate the maximum tomato. Immediately, he forgot how to fly and fell to his death. The player proceeded to weep.

Meanwhile, Parasol was looking around the float islands for a ride up to the clouds. He later came across some hippies who were sitting around using dr- I mean "Rainbow Dust."

"Aw, I'm back in 1967 again." Parasol grumbled. One of the hippies realized that he wasn't an illusion and beckoned him forward.

"Dude," One of the stoned hippies started in a delusional way. "If you need to get to the clouds, just take some rainbow dust and you'll be there in a jiff."

**Player: Wow. We're being given drugs from hippies to get to the sky. Then again, the Kirby series is like a cute LSD trip… not that I would know.**

And no matter how much Waddle Dee said no, the hippies still gave him some rainbow dust. And he was going to curse them out with every curse word known to man, and several to Bronto Burt, but at that time the "Rainbow Dust" took effect.

Let's check back with Kirby.

Our favorite puffball was attacking blocks in the way when he spotted a Mike. Now, Kirby loves to sing, and he loves music, but he's also tone-deaf. That means that while he can sing well, when he has a microphone, prepare for your ears to bleed. Horribly. And you might want to check into a hospital.

Ten seconds later.

The entire residence area of bubbly clouds was wrecked, save for Kracko's residence which has a back door for emergency exits to Crash Clouds. And it just so happens that Kracko Jr. was here.

"So Kirby, You dare challenge the Great Kracko Jr? I will squash you like a grape!"

"Well Kracko Jr., can I sing for you first?"

"Okay…"

**(The player cannot comment on the situation as he/she has currently fled the room. And the country.)**

Meanwhile, located conveniently next to Crash Clouds…

King Dedede and Bandana Dee were watching Kirby's progress with disdain.

"Great King! Kirby is making his way here! He is already at Crash Clouds."

"This is not good Bandana. I choose the wrong week to quit Rainbow Dust." And with that, the king took some Rainbow Dust to calm himself down. He offhandedly told Bandana to mobilize K.A.B.O.O.L.A.

Back to Waddle Dee…

Waddle Dee was walking through Wonderland, beating off rabid Mr. Bisons with Chuck Norris. Outside of his dream, on the other hand, he was walking through a variety of places, Caves, mountains, Airships, even space! Thankfully Parasol got where he wanted to go because, when he passed by Crash Clouds, a bear was created into existence in that same plain, with no other purpose then to **** up anybody it meets. Luckily, Parasol was that person. After being reincarnated, Parasol met up with Kirby.

"Oh Kirby, there you are! I thought for sure that you were killed and I would be alone-

"Shut up Parasol! I found a secret door behind the moon that will take us to Kracko! Let's stop that evil cloud thingy." Kirby then proceeded to enter the moon itself. Before joining him, Parasol made sure he wasn't still under the effects of the "Rainbow dust" Parasol then, reluctantly, entered the cloud.

He then respawned twenty feet into the air. And since this is not a tenable position for a Waddle Dee to be in, he didn't have a lot of time to come to terms with the fact that he was going to die before he had to come to terms with the fact that he wasn't. This is a complete record of his thoughts during this period. (Do you get the reference?)

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-hey some food-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-this is boring-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-what wonderful weather today-HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-wow this is a long fall-HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!-I think I will get some sleep-ZZZ…ZZZ…ZZZ…ZZZ…ZZZ…ZZZ…ZZZ…ZZZ…ZZZ…ZZZ…ZZZ…"

And after a brief slumber, he found out that he had his namesake out and was being over dramatic as usual. He then proceeded to turn around and he looked at Kirby who was holding a hammer.

"Where did you get that hammer Kirby?" Parasol asked.

Kirby looked appalled at that statement He lifted up his head in an awesome fashion.

"Are you kidding me Parasol!? I saved HUMANITY! I stopped the apes before they can become a problem! They were so impressed with me, that they gave me a hammer to symbolize their awe. I am the champion, my friend!"

Kirby then continued to sing Queen's " We are the Champions" in his cute little voice. Parasol was silent until…

"You beat up Bonkers and swallowed him, didn't you?"

"GUILTY!"

In the next room, there was a giant cloud with an eyeball. It looked like an arrangement of evil, almost as if it looked very similar to an evil enemy of Kirby's that will continue to haunt him, unbeknownst to the western gamers.

"Oh God, Parasol, it's Zero! Get the love-love stick/crystal gun/magic paintbrush thing/Three Star cane!*"

"No you fool! I am Kracko! And I am here to seek vengeance for my son! ENGARDE!"

Kracko then shot a lightning bolt at Parasol who disintegrated instantly.

Kirby was shocked "Oh my God, they killed Parasol!"

**Player (While wearing Kyle's hat) :You B**turds!**

Kirby attacked Kracko with his hammer. Unfortunately, Kracko had the type advantage meaning he was unstoppable. Kirby thought about Kracko and got an idea that was hopefully dumb enough to work.

"If you're so tough, why not go into the mountains to prove it!"

"Okay! I will!"

**Player: Kirby is going to use a natural tactic? Wow, that's cleaver of him**.

As Kracko was leaving, Kirby killed him with shovel. As he disappeared, he said one word that summed up the entire situation very well.

"****"

boom. (Yes a dull boom is how he went out.)

Kirby was standing at the edge of the clouds, looking at Mt. Dedede with a smug look

"This'll be cake. Mmmmmmhhh, cake… "

**Player: There he goes, tempting fate…**

Sure enough, once Kirby used his cell phone to call his Warpstar, he was attacked by a big, eyelashed, horrific, shemale blimp known by a name so terrible that it was much less stressful to name it KABOOLA and get on with your life already. The blimp was very serious, so serious that it shoots Bullet Bills. BULLET! ****ING! BILLS! It was powerful enough to rip an enemy from another dimension!

**Player: Even if it's a shemale, the blimp is still better looking then Birdo.**

Kirby tried to dodge the bullets KABOOLA was firing, but the Warpstar couldn't turn on a dime. I mean have you seen how that thing handles?! It's a wonder Kirby never crashes on that thing. This description was also long enough to hide the fact that Kirby was shot down.

"Darn." Kirby thought in a deep, monotone, voice. "That's the last time I forget to buy Warpstar insurance from Progressive.

It was at that moment that the stars Kirby collected from the corpses of the previous bosses to form… THE PLOT DEVICE- I mean- STAR CHARIOT! Kirby then flew off to confront the evil zeppelin.

Twelve hours of dog fighting later…

Kaboola lifted it's hood to shoot bullets when suddenly a glowing "Screw me" light lit up. Kirby knew he had only one shot at this.

"Kirby…" a voice. Then the ghost of Parasol appeared before him. "You are not alone… Give me that thing!" Parasol then took the controls.

He proceeded to fire a proton torpedo and blew up KABOOLA.

Kirby looked at Parasol's ghost in shock. " Parasol! You're a ghost?!"

"No you Eediot! I'm the beetle ship right next to you!" Kirby looked to the right and saw a giant beetle flying in tandem with the plot device- I mean Star Chariot.

"Oh. I knew that."

**Player: Sure you did…**

As Kirby and his friend Parasol flew to Mt. Dedede, The King and Bandana watched in a rage.

"How dare that puffball think he can attack my castle?! Mt. Dedede is a nigh impenetrable fortress. Nobody can attack it!"

"Except for last time when he waltzed right in." Bandana corrected.

"Well, no more will I be know as a pathetic sub-villain. Today is the day I get serious!"

REVENGE OF THE KING

UNCUT

"DON'T BRING THE KIDS!"

(Play "Revenge of the King" sting here)

**Player: It's getting hard to take giant talking penguins who talk in Texan accents seriously these days.**

**The Hammer of Doubt**.

Kirby and Parasol had entered a the staircase room when suddenly a monitor on the ceiling started up showing King Dedede in a chair stroking a cat laughing manically.

**Player: Weren't you trying to be less like a James Bond villain?**

"The player is right you know." Parasol interjected. "You really are a James Bond villain." Dedede grew angry at that jab, but kept his calm, knowing that it will all pay off later. "Just you wait Kirby!" The bond villain wannabe laughed, "You will never get through the four floors of terror! And you are now at floor one! Prepare to meet someone we call… um… The Tock!"

Suddenly, a man who happened to be an alarm clock appeared and looked very angry. The androgynous puffball and his friend faced him with a look of smugness, despite the mess they were making on the floor. The Tock was, in actuality, annoyed with Dedede because his actual name was simply Tick Tock. He also had money problems, his wife was having an affair, his house got repossessed, his wife divorced him and took everything but the car, and seconds after the trial, his car spontaneously combusted. He decided to take all his anger out by killing the plucky, happy-go-lucky Kirby, and the cynical, smart, possibly emo, Parasol.

The Tock began the fight by ringing his bells, raining musical notes on our heroes. Parasol used his namesake as a shield and watched the notes fall from behind the sun umbrella. Meanwhile, Kirby was eating the notes and shooting them back at the alarm clock, which was actually doing damage. Eventually Kirby was about to kill the poor loser when-

"STOP!"

Said loser shouted his first word since his streak of bad luck. Tick looked at both of them in plea.

"Look pal, you know you don't have a beef with me right?" Tick asked. Kirby took a moment to let the sentence sink in before realizing that the poor monster was right. Kirby didn't have a beef with him! "You want Dedede right? Well feel free to find him yourself pal. I'm blowing this joint."

"To do what?" Parasol asked in a confused manner. "I'm going to track down my wife and her new lover, light their house on fire, beat them up and…" . Kirby was confused. His less innocent friend, on the other hand, looked very, very, shocked and terrified.

**Player: (looks at game's rating) E for everyone my a** ! **

_**Later…**_

_**Tick Tock stood towards his wife who looked on in terror as he pulled out the object in question…**_

"_**Oh honey! What are you going to do with that?!"**_

"_**I'm going… to take back my fancy dress clothes!**_

"_**NOOOOO!**_

**The second floor.**

Kirby and Parasol were casually walking up the stairs to the second floor.

"So… Why was he going to do his wife's laundry?"

"He wasn't going to do his wife's laundry."

"So why was he-"

"I don't want to talk about it"

The two had finally found the second fiend of the castle- A giant wheelie.

"Hello jerks! Hope you like being road kill!" the wheel mocked. Parasol prepped himself while Kirby just took out a bike frame…

Seconds later, Kirby was riding up the stairs to an instrumental version of "Working for the Weekend" On a giant Wheelie bike, while tracking fresh blood stains with a hood ornament shaped like an umbrella.

Meanwhile, in the Pentagon…

Several governments of Popstar were stark raving mad. Not only was the planet in the middle of a famine due to somebody ****ing with the crops, but the only nation with food, Dream Land, was in a crisis in which the king never showed up and didn't bring the doughnuts. Now what were they suppose to eat and dunk into their coffee? Croissants?

This made the Dream Land ambassador Herbert, a Bronto Bert, nervous. He didn't want this job in the first place. He was given to it by a terrified ambassador, who simply told him at great length about how much he was wetting himself and died right in front of him. Herbert wasn't sure where he, such a weak common enemy, was suppose to turn to help. Miyamoto couldn't help, neither could God, fate and destiny were both mocking him, self esteem was on it's death bed, dignity flat out gave up and retired to a mountaintop far away to weep itself to sleep, and Bomber himself hasn't shown up on Youtube for months. Whenever someone tried to call him or his O.C.s, they were usually "Out to lunch." On the plus side, another dimensional being has mention that they have gotten internships at the _Hitchhiker's guide_ section of Megadodo industries.

This general mish mash of worrying was brought to a sudden halt as King Dedede appeared on screen, looking much like Goldfinger and Dr. Evil combined.

"Hello Gentlemen. How are you doing?"

The crowd murmured.

"Let's make this short and sweet shall we? I want to hold the world hostage for…" DUN DUN DUUUUNNNNN! "One trillion dollars." The generals went up the wall at that new piece of information. Dedede wasn't even a real king. What could he possibly do? " If you do not comply I will kill everyone in the audience and eat the food myself!" The evil tyrant then swung the monitor around to show that he captured anyone in the multiverse he could get his hands on. From Buffy to Tycho to Mario to Dr. Horrible to the Its guy from Monty Python's flying circus, they were all here. All for the purpose of seeing the king kill Kirby…

Kirby and a revived Parasol in a sidecar, did not notice the screams of help or warning from the top of the castle, nor did they care really.

The duo approached the third floor, looking for the third fiend of terror or something when they were attacked by Phan Phan, the out of work circus elephant who now works for King Dedede. Phan Phan was happy to have new balls to use… no not those balls.

"Hey Kirby!" Parasol said in a snarky way, " It's Dumbo!" Kirby gave Parasol a glare, which was very unusual of him

"Parasol… I can't believe you! This is Donald Trump, we're talking to here. Donald. Trump!"

Parasol took a moment to cycle through his "What the Hell is wrong with you?" looks. He decided that look #10 was the best for this situation.

"Kirby, this is an elephant that looks NOTHING LIKE DONALD TRUMP!"

"Parasol, this man could make us or break us."

At that moment, Parasol realized, once again, that he has given up on society as we know it.

Meanwhile, Phan Phan watched the argument with confusion. He didn't know who Donald Trump was, much less why he looks like him. He decided to do what he always does when he feels upset. He picked up Parasol, juggled him for a bit, then threw him headfirst into a ceiling.

No, that wasn't it either. Phan Phan looked pretty angry about this whole thing. He decided to try his hand at golf. He had always been meaning to play golf for months now, but time always got away from him. Phan Phan left in a daze.

"Parasol!" Kirby said in glee. "He didn't fire us! We're moving up!"

Parasol wasn't moving.

King Dedede was panicking now. Kirby was on his way to beat him up again. One time Kirby beat him up so bad, that he beat the poor penguin into next year. Literally. One moment Kirby was punching him and WHAM! It's New Years day already. The king tried to console himself being reminding himself that he had a strong capable army.

Then it hit him that roughly 90% of them were waddle dees. Then came the sobbing, with the crying, and the wiping, and the chick flicks. Bandana Waddle Dee looked with sorrow for his king's grief and decided to even the score with his rival Parasol…

Kirby, having pealed Parasol off the ceiling, went up the stairs to confront the final fiend of whatever so he can confront Dedede and end The Hammer of Doubt already. He stumbled up the staris to find… _two_ twin lions? _That were lit on fire?! _

**Player: Hey, there are only suppose to be four fiends! He's cheating!**

Out in the castle a voice rang out: "GUILTY!"

The lions started the battle by pouncing on the two puffball things. Parasol was caught immediately and was scratched with in an inch of his life. Kirby was petting his fire lion (while getting burns in response) and tamed the big kitty. Satisfied he turns his attention to the other fire lion and does the same. As a reward, on the bright side, Kirby used Parasol's corpse to play fetch.

Kirby and Parasol entered a door to find a teleportation room, suspiciously similar to Dr. Wily's. There were four doors in each corner with pictures of bosses on top of them, looking very happy, almost as if they weren't gruesomely murdered by a pink psychopath and his emo cohort.

**Player: First He's a bond villain, now he's Wily?! What is up with you today King Dedede?!**

Kirby opened Whispy Wood's door and found the giant tree behind. "Hey, didn't I kill you?"

"Haha! I got another shot at killing you now that I've joined King Dedede. Now Kirby, prepare to-"

Parasol killed him midsentance.

Behind Door number two were Lololo and Lalala, ready with their blocks of doom

"Welcome Kirby-" said Lololo.

"- we've been expecting you!" said Lalala, Kirby and Parasol, once again, were not in the mood, and once again, owned them quickly.

Next up would have been Kaboola… unfortunately the blimp was still at the bottom of the cliffs or seas. So his room was empty and Kirby and Parasol didn't really care. So everybody wins!

Finally the fourth door revealed Krako… who was reading the best selling book "Puffball killing for Dummies." when the two entered his room.

"Oh hello Kirby, strange individual, whom I've probably never met before. I've decided not to fight you as that would probably be suicidal. Go about as you wish."

Kirby and Parasol exchanged looks and simply left the way they came.

Meanwhile, Bandana Waddle Dee got his spear ready as the duo walked towards Dedede's door…. Then remembered the door was behind the painting and tackled them.

**Next Time( And sooner to boot): **

**The Over-The-Top Final Battle!**

**The Harvest Festival!**

**A new enemy? **

**Shorter Chapters!**


	3. The Hammer of Doubt: Final Penguin!

**I am sorry for the lack of story updates, but I shall now rectify this with the best way to fix problems like this: Over-The-Top final battles! YAY! **

**The Hammer of Doubt!**

**The conclusion!**

Kirby and Parasol looked at Bandana Waddle Dee with an odd look on their faces… Oh yeah, it was deadpan.

"Bandana, please move aside so we can get on with stopping Dedede." Parasol said in an equally deadpan way as he looked.

"Listen, I cannot let this happen, If you want to get to Dedede, you have to go through me first!"

"Alright, let's do this!" The two generic enemy types then proceeded to jump into the air in a cliché fashion, The only words ringing were Kirby's: "Parasol! You have my house keys!"

All was quiet in the robot desert. The desert got this name when the robot rulers decided that now would be a good time for a nervous breakdown which destroyed the robot way of life for most. Some survived, however, and went on to write memoirs about their lives.

Despite his attempts at keeping calm, Parasol was shocked by a giant tank that looked fatter, yet cuter, then him. And it was pointing it's parasol gun at him! He looked on with horror and offense to how big his bottom was.

And now for something completely different!

Kirby entered a dark room and looked for anything in there when a spotlight suddenly lit up. "Welcome to my lair Kirby." Said a voice as another spotlight joined with it's second cousin, twice removed. "now take the hammer and fight me." Kirby and the player sighed. Dedede was making this too easy. Kirby picked up the Hammer… and the lights turned on to reveal a electric cage, some terrified audience members and a penguin in a cape with a playboy symbol on it and a hat, wearing a mask, while holding a metal mallet. He looked very angry.

"Hi Dedede!" Kirby said in a happy tone. "How are you doing?

King Dedede was not impressed. "This time I'll kill you puffball. And I've got the means to do it! Now let's fight hammer to hammer!"

**Player: Wait a minute, you're ripping off Meta Knight!**

"No I'm not."

**Player: Meta Knight throws a sword before you fight him, wears a mask, uses an improved version of the sword and has a special move, just like you.**

"Screw you, I'm awesome!"

Meanwhile…

Some robot hobos were lining up at the robot soup kitchen when a non robot ran screaming while a tank robot chased him. The robots looked at the scene.

"What should we do?" said robot 96moo.

"I don't know, throw Chef Kawasaki at im" Said robot 73pie.

Parasol relaxed knowing that Chef Kawasaki would save him.

A few minutes later he ran screaming as a robotic Kawasaki also started chasing him.

Meanwhile… again

"Alright Kirby, just surrender now! I'm invincible! You can't dream of stopping me!"

**Player: You do realize your at half health right? **

Masked Dedede was about to correct the player when he realized that he/she was right, and decided that it was time to call in "It." He untied everyone and left the arena.

"Maybe he wants to congratulate me for beating him." Then a cup of water that was randomly on stage started rippling. Everyone fled as the rumbles got louder and louder.

"Maybe, he is jumping for joy." Then a giant, robotic hand reached out of the roof toward the stage.

"Maybe he wants to shake hands with me, but thinks I may have a virus on me." the robot then took out its other arm, a drill, and wound up. By this point Kirby has abandoned his hopes and dreams and fled for his life.

_Parasol vs. Waddle Tank and Mecha Kawasaki _

Parasol had finally found a platform on which to stand on as he looked at the robot ruins, his two adversaries closing in. Finally he felt his demise come in when he received a mysterious package.

"Dear Parasol," said the note he read, "We have decided to help you out to prove we are kind to everyone. However, frankly, we hate you and thus, present unto you the scope shot, the closest thing to a gun in the Nintendo Universe. If you survive, we will send you a complimentary playing card set and won't send an assassin after you."

Best wishes

Sakurai

Parasol sighed, looked to the sky, and screamed "SAKURAI!" Then he faced his robotic adversaries with rage. This was it. The last act. Nothing would stop him from fulfilling his destiny. And nothing will stop us from watching this climatic fight! You hear me? NOTHING!

_Kirby Vs King Dedede and HR-D3_

Kirby was standing in awe as the Dedede robot from the Kirby Gamecube game showed up. The cockpit opened to show the King in all his Bond villain glory. Seriously he's a cross between a James Bond villain and the King of Town.The fat penguin smiled malevolently at the pink puffball.

"Kirby, It's time for you to surrender and come quietly so you could watch me…" Dramatic close-up of Dedede's hideous face time! "Eat all of the food in Dreamland as I dance a merry dance to mock your hunger and pain!" Kirby looked at the monstrosity with a burning rage and shouted to the heavens

"NEVER YOU FAT PENGUIN GUY THING!"

He then jumped at the machine and-

_Parasol Vs Waddle Tank and Robo Kawasaki_

Parasol kept firing the scope shot at the two mechs behind him as he ran for his life. Luckily, this was the age of first person shooters, (you still think this is based on the original Kirby Superstar?! Go read all of Spring Breeze again! Go on, I'll wait.)and thus he was able to shoot and run at the same time. At this point Bandana open his hatch at the top of the Tank

"Parasol, please give up. I don't feel okay with leaving the king by himself. After all, since Escargoon is on vacation…" Bandana pleaded

"Come on, I'm sure the King will be fine".

"He's King Dedede, he's going serious and he's fighting Kirby."

"…" Parasol started running for the rapidly exploding castle, past everyone who was watching (but not before stealing Tails/Metal Sonic's rocket and Kenny's Parka (Accidentally killing the poor kid (Pun not intended ( Have I got enough brackets because we should be able to use footnotes)))) while being chased by two rapidly exploding robots.

_**Kirby Vs King Dedede and HR-D3**_

King Dedede's robot continued attacking Kirby, while destroying the place because, heck, he was moving out of that castle and even if he wasn't, he was planning to redecorate. The machine cranked and groaned when a freak worm hole opened in the space time continuum. This space time wormhole becomes important… later… much later.

Meanwhile the pink puffball proceeded to pound the food purloiner

Then Parasol came by floating from an orange parachute

"Kirby are you and Dedede okay?!" Parasol asked horrified.

"Yes I'm perfectly fine, how are-

"WHAT?!" Parasol exploded in a fit of rage, got better and started (somehow) strangling Kirby. "You mean I did all that for nothing?! I killed my pen pal and took his clothes because of you!"

"Aw, How sweet." Kirby and Parasol looked to where Dedede's robot had been to discover it was still standing, but just barely. The robot's shell was nothing more then a bunch of frames. It proceeded to roar a wimpy, stoic roar that drove deep into the hearts of all men and women who heard it. Giygas randomly decided to appear in the sky at that point. Link and Mario, who were also in the audience and were considering going up there, gave up.

"Kirby, do something before that crazy fat guy kills us!" Parasol commanded. Kirby checked his cell phone. It had a low battery. He looked to the audience. "um… May I borrow a battery from someone?" Several villains, such as Giovanni, Etna, and Dr. Wily outright refused. Several Heroes, such as Sonic, Megaman and Mario simply shrugged. One Rabbid said "DAAAAHHHHH!" Finally Bowser Koopa spoke up.

"I can give you the best phone in the universe! Behold, The Bowser phone!" Bowser pulled out a cell phone with a similar color scheme to himself. An angelic choir started up as sunlight fell on the phone (Despite the fact that Giygas was blocking the sun from this epic moment) and an announcers voice said something in a very fast voice:

" _**KoopaKorp**_ _**is not responsible for stolen stars, coins, emeralds, childrens' card game cards, victories, robot master powers, plot coupons/ Macguffins, Pokemon, and main character status' as a result of calling Bowser. The Bowser Phone is not to be used by Sperm, Ovum, Zygotes, infants, children, teenagers, young adults, medium adults, old adults, old people, very old people, extremely, very old people, dead people, and living/ sentient beings altogether. Ask your doctor if the Bowser phone is for you." **_

Kirby caught the Bowser phone, took out it's batteries and stored into his pocket. He then combined the batteries with his cell phone. Some text popped up saying : "Congratulations, you have changed the batteries in your cell phone! You can now use to text and call people! You can also call your warpstar, you lucky (BLEEP)"

Kirby dialed a number.

Parasol was shaking with shot nerves.

Kirby waited.

The phone rang.

The receptionist asked Kirby for who he was trying to reach.

The crowd waited anxiously.

Kirby whispered into the phone.

"Hang on sir, I'll put you through"

A taxi arrived at the castle.

More waiting with what seems to be elevator music coming from the phone.

Giygas continued chilling in the sky for no readily apparent reason.

A plot hole from that other Giygas's universe opened, then closed.

Meanwhile a ludicrous hole opened.

Master Hand and Crazy Hand stepped out.

Crazy hand pulled out a red and white ball.

Kirby took the ball.

"Can we speed this up?!" asked M, the Glitch Pokemon. "Some of us have gameboy games to haunt."

"And others have remakes of fan fictions to be ready for." Mewtwo chimed in as Pichu nodded fiercely.

"Okay, okay. Sheesh, you people have no sense of tension." Master Hand complained. Kirby then summoned the pokemon inside. Trillions were shocked. The winds howled with horror. Somebody even tried to put a S.E.P. (Someone else's problem. If you didn't know that, then stop reading this and go read The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. I'll wait.) field around the Pokemon, only to fail spectacularly.

Several gamers went into an uproar over this. Gabe, Tycho, Aeries and Leo were outright mortified and their jaws stayed down for a good hour. The player proceeded to curse Master Hand, the trolling (BLEEP)rd, to the end of his many, many, _many_ days.

King Dedede laughed. Due to the faulty S.E.P. field the thought he was seeing a Magikarp. To the casual observer, this would normally look to be, in actuality, a shiny Magikarp. But, it is, in fact, a shiny _**Arceus **_with a Magikarp paper mask.

One Judgement later…

"All right Kirby, you may have destroyed my robot, killed any chance of me beating you, and ruined my castle, but those efforts were fruitless as I still have my fancy hammer!" Dedede proclaimed, now back in the stadium.

**Player: Your Castle is blown to smithereens, your henchman is scarred for life, I could probably cough and you would die, Just throw in the towel already!**

King Dedede turned very red at this statement. "You might think so, but I still have my signature move: 'Super Fist of The Mallet: Spinning Penguin!'" The dastardly Penguin or Condor or Whatever started spinning. Everyone was on the edge of their seats now.

_**How will Kirby and Waddle Dee escape with their lives intact?! Will King Dedede actually kill off our hero?! Find out next- **_

Kirby lightly tapped King Dedede on the head with the Mallet. He and Bandana Dee flew into the stratosphere.

"LOOKS LIKE TEAM DEDEDE IS BLASTING OFF AGAIN!" The duo said in unison as they twinkled into the sky.

Kirby and Parasol looked at the roof of the castle, which was making a sad face and turning emo. They then turned their attention to the massive amount of food in the room. Then Kirby spoke.

"I'll take care of this Parasol, don't worry. With a little magic, our act of Communism, I mean, community service will come to pass. FOR THE PEOPLE!" Then he ran off.

**Cutscene Time!**

**The little star warrior flew up into the stratosphere and puffed up really big. Really, really, unbelievably big. So big that he spontaneously grew ropes out of nowhere and started to pull the castle off it's perch, much to the delight of everyone below. It also shocked Parasol who was in the middle of thinking about all the worst case scenarios of what Kirby could be planning. And thus, it was a happy ending. At least until the player realized.**

**Player: Wait… aren't they floating over the ocean?! Wouldn't that mean that the food is being wasted?!**

**The credits don't appear to believe so as they flash along the bottom of the player's Tv/DS/3DS/PC/Dryer/Whatever in an orderly fashion while doing classical group dances such as the Can-Can. **

**Kirby then turns back to normal and falls to the ground as Parasol, once again, uses Kenny's parka as a parachute as the castle, hoping to be destroyed at this point, is mercilessly held up by those stars that everyone forgot. The duo then do Kirby's patented "YAYZ" dance as the crowd cheered. (Except Kenny who was too busy being… not alive.)**

**At least until Kirby ate all the food.**

**And thus, our heroes fled for their lives into the sunset.**

**Meanwhile, King Dedede walked along the side of the highway, trying to hitchhike as he does, meanwhile all his waddle dees follow him, doing the same. Arceus watches this from afar.**

" **Well… whos next on my list of people who must face their truths in heartbreakingly bluntness… Klonoa, definitely." The legendary Pokemon said before leaving through a plot hole. The rest… was known, sadly, as the ending to **_**"Door to Phantomile" **_

_**In a room of Hexagons, a figure closes a story book with a slight frown. The figure wore a white suit and had one of his two red eyes covered with what appears to be a bandage. He then turns his way to look at you (the reader) with a false smile. He then grabs another book and opens it. Did someone order one mind screw?**_

_And that ends Spring Breeze, our first story in the Super Star set. With that, we shall take a intermission and you will see two shorts before we continue and as such, until then, it's hiatus time…again…_

_But don't worry, because Zero will probably guard those books, because on one outsmarts Zero. __**NO ONE. (**__Eyes turn red gradually before turning back to normal)_

_Next time: the World's toughest man contest: Dreamland Edition._


	4. Megaton Punch: Intermission

The Super Star Wars presents:

**The Tenth annual Popstar's Strongest Man contest!**

"Welcome everyone, to the World's toughest man contest! Today we have many contestants here for a nonexistent reward of 10 gold Coins! Our first round: Kirby vs. Bandana Dee!" A cliché sports announcer said to everyone at the Megaton Punch stadium. The audience was in hysterics due to all the buff, strong men standing around flexing their muscles as all the swooning women and men will tell you. Meanwhile, Parasol was trying to warn Kirby about how horrible an idea this is.

"This is a horrible idea!" Parasol yelled for the fifty third time straight since being told of this development by Kirby. The pink orb was currently wearing a headband and waving to everyone as he entered the coliseum for the contest. Kirby then faced his stone platform and started to focus his chi.

"Right now we have our seventh round in the preliminary competition: Kirby," Kirby stood at his side and blew kisses to all the members of the audience. The women and men all swooned, much to Parasol's confusion. "And Bandana Dee!" Bandana then stepped out, waving wildly at the audience as people threw roses, candy, and sheep stomachs at the cute lil'… thing. Kirby and Bandana watched their platforms, power meters and target reticles moving about until both competitors slammed into the earth.

"And the winner is… Kirby!" Everyone cheered as Kirby stood in front of a big, but not very big crater while Bandana tearfully ran from his "Even Glass Joe could do better," rut in the ground. A man wearing a cloak and mask watched Kirby alongside Parasol.

"Oh Yessssssss…." The man in the mask said with an unnervingly high level of eagerness. "That boy hasssssss lotsssssss of potential." Parasol looked at this man curiously.

"Excuse me sir but, what is wrong with you?" Before the old man could respond, a blue orb with a face that can only be described as "Herpy Derpy" popped out of Parasol's sun umbrella and offered his analysis.

"Parasol, you should be ashamed of yourself! It's obvious this poor old woman is currently suffering from Heat Stroke!" Gooey said urgently.

"_What?!"_ Granny said in outrage.

"Come on Edna, I'll take you home now." Gooey then extended his tongue only for it to be slapped by Grandma.

"_How dare you missssssstake me for sssssssome elderly old woman! Lisssssssten to me you pint sssssssized pile of Dark Matter: I am the great Nightmare! And although I am not back to full power yet I ssssssshall_- Er, I mean I'm not old!" The-Old-Woman-Who-Is-Totally-Not-Nightmare-What-Ga ve-You-That-Idea hissed in her threatening-but-not-really English dub voice. Parasol looked completely baffled but Gooey looked nervous and a tad guilty.

"Next Round: Kirby vs. Knuckle Joe!" The announcer shouted, finally lifting the tension off the little group as Knuckle Joe ran into the arena and did a few practice punches.

"Hey Joe!" Kirby called out to him from afar, "How's life!?" Joe glanced back and replied.

"Pretty average, I'm still unlocking the key to ultimate power. Hey, Good luck out there!"

"You too!"

The two then focused their chi, targeted their rocks and when their bodies were ready, they slammed their fists into the stones. Again Kirby was the victor while Joe cursed himself and all the Amazonian gods with whom he allied with. Said Amazonian Gods decided that perhaps they should extend their coffee break for another half hour.

Mr. The-Old-Woman-Who-Is-Totally-Not-Nightmare-What-Ga ve-You-That-Idea looked at the arena again. "Yesssssss…" He whispered as not to be disturbed by any other yodels. _"It isssssss nearly high noon… Excellent. When it isssssss high noon, I ssssssshall reveal myssssssself and when the light reflectsssssss off my brilliant chin, it ssssssshall catch Kirby in the eyesssssss allowing me to run over and punt him into the sssssssunssssssset! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha…_"

"Final Match: Kirby vs Iron Mam!" Everyone cheered despite the fact that said tournament seemed to only last three rounds. This time a being made almost entirely of iron with two orbs for hands entered the arena. Kirby extended a hand in greeting.

"Sir, let me just say that I feel honored to be participating with you to-" Suddenly Mam picked up Kirby and threw him clear of the arena. Despite this, her voice was loud enough to be heard quite clearly from his current position.

"**ARE YOU BLIND? I WILL HAVE YOU KNOW I AM A 69 YET STILL BEAUTIFUL WOMAN WITH TWELVE KIDS!**" She then turned to a group of similar yet young beings.** "SAY HI KIDS!" **"hello." **"THEIR DADDIES RAN OUT ON THEM, BOTH OF THEM! AND WHEN I FIND THEM I'LL RIP OFF THEIR *******, TIE THEM TOGETHER, FRY THEM, AND SERVE THEM AT THE BRONX STADIUM FOR $5.99!" **After that announcement, Giovanni, seated in the "Evil Fathers and Sons" section of the stadium, decided at that moment to notice the really neat corncob holders built into his chair and hope his don powers would activate at some point. Meanwhile, Bowser, the only one who wasn't shaking in fear orbuying earplugs simply looked at his lap and smirked.

"The joke's on her." He thought boastfully. At last, those ex-girlfriend pregnancy scares finally paid off!

Kirby reentered the stadium and stared down the graceful lady, all sense of play gone, looking very much like the North American covers of his video games. He started focusing his chi.

Nightmare looked at the sun in the sky. Only fifty seconds until High Noon! What luck! Unfortunately Nightmare's, and everyone in the stadium's, luck ran desert dry as Kirby turned yellow, grew blond hair and tore into the sky.

"**I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE UP TO!" **And so Iron Mam copied Kirby's transformation and flew after him. Everyone in the stadium was confused except for Meta Knight who, despite him being thousands of miles away in his aircraft hangar, put a hand to his mask and sighed in annoyance.

In the stratosphere, Kirby stopped rising, turned toward the planet, pulled back his arm and started descending. Mam caught up and did the same. Light was now intensely radiating from them as they fell.

"_Falcon…"_

"_**MAM…"**_

"_Kirby, no!_" Parasol shouted, tears running down his, and Gooey's faces while Ms. The-Old-Woman-Who-Is-Totally-Not-Nightmare-What-Ga ve-You-That-Idea watched, dumbstruck.

"_**PAWNCH!"**_

The arena was silent as Mam and Kirby's crack traveled cleanly through Pop Star. More silence… then Pop Star broke in half.

"You… dumba**e*" Parasol sputtered while floating in space.


	5. Bonfire of the Birdies: Prologue

**Admiral: What the heck?**

**Mimi: Ad, what's wrong?**

**Admiral: What's wrong?! It's been ages since the last chapter was posted! I thought "you know who" was supposed to take care of that!**

**Mimi: About that, well…**

· **A Short Time Later**

**Zero:…**

**Admiral: Zero, read it.**

**0: *looks up briefly before lowering his head again* I refuse.**

**Mimi: Come on Zero, surely you felt happy at the end of that last story.**

**0: No. I cannot feel joy. The only positive emotion I can feel is content and only once have I felt content with getting it yanked from me…**

**Mimi: Really? *0_0***

**0: I was scouring the universe… I met this odd creature… His name was 'The King of Sorrow'… we had a… tea party. I had met someone I could finally relate to…**

**Admiral: wow… will you read the story now?**

**0: ! *Zero stands up. While he does this, the air above him pulsates reveals and he is connected to green, spiky thorns attached to a giant white sphere with a single, blood red eye***_**No. No I will not continue to read propaganda, especially not propaganda about my arch-nemesis! **_

**Admiral: *unimpressed with the Dark Matter now swirling around the room* fine. We'll just get someone to replace you.**

**0:*sighs* Where will you find someone so stupid-**

**Nightmare: *Shows up* …What jussssssst happened?!**

**Mimi: *Exchanges looks with her hatted companion* You'rejustintime-herereadthis,byebyeZero! *She and Admiral stick their tongues out at Zero as they vanish in a cloud of smoke***

**Nightmare: Zero?... ! Zero! *Points with a rather hooked and pointy finger* What are **_**you**_** doing he-**

**0: *Exasperated* Just shut up and read! *creates a throne for Nightmare out of Dark Matter***

**Nightmare: *Shrugs and does so***

For maximum enjoyment, picture an intro in the style of Aqua Something you know Whatever.

Kirby: the Super Star Wars:

Part 2:

Bonfire of the Birdees

Our story of love, adventure and musical tomfoolery begins one simple morning in Dreamland, where Kirby, and his life hating friend Parasol where simply chilling in front of a small tree, when suddenly-

_**WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH**_

By the time the thing had passed, the flowers were stunned, the sun grabbed its shotgun, a few of the summits of the hills in the background were sliced neatly off their bases and an apple conveniently fell on Kirby's head.

"My goodness," Kirby said looking at the surrounding damage, "A really fierce wind must have blown through. What do you make of it Parasol… Parasol?" Parasol was laying some yards away with a giant leech on his body. He slowly but surely panicked less and less until his body went limp.

Meanwhile

The citizens of Dreamland were caught in a gigantic panic as all the crops were destroyed by a giant Ho-oh. The country council came together to discuss a tactic that could give them an edge over the giant bird. Many elected to force one of the nearby planets to manufacture something called a Master Ball. Others wanted to shoot the bird out of the sky in order to hold a grand thanksgiving dinner, but could not, for Winter had just passed and eating turkey out of season was as huge a sin as ticket sharing, so that was out. Finally, someone had a brilliant idea of blaming King Dedede and suing him for everything, causing all the citizens to jump on the bandwagon.

"**Why is everyone trying tah sue me?!" **King Dedede demanded as the waddle dees that worked under him slaved to close the door, while simultaneously acting as a makeshift throne. "Do they have any idea how hard life is for me? I can barely remember _**mah birth **_like it was yesterday…"

_Eagles…_

_Condors…_

_And Penguins…_

_These were the ingredients chosen to make the perfect little bird._

_But Masahiro Sakurai accidentally added an extra ingredient to the concoction:_

_**Lard **_

_**(BBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMM!)**_

_And thus King Dedede was born!_

_Using his ultra super mallet, He dedicated his life to eating food_

_And ruling a Kingdom!_

_(Cue a montage of Dedede eating food and getting possessed.)_

Kirby and Parasol, having walked through Peanut Plains (which I'm skipping because I don't care for that level) looked at the crowd surrounding King Dedede's castle threatening to summon the army of lawyers via sacrifice. Kirby then turned to Parasol and said four simple words.

"We have to help him."

Parasol, however, looked completely flabbergasted. He then shouted at Kirby about everything they had to do when King Dedede stole all the food in Dreamland. Kirby simply shrugged and said, "I can't hold grudges." And so the two of them climbed onto a station wagon in the area (But ran into trouble when Parasol was killed as a sacrifice for the lawyers) and Kirby proceeded to give a rousing speech. About what, I don't know, but it put everything else into perspective, caused even the manliest citizen to shed a tear, and the crowd dispersed, having learned something today.

Kirby shook hands with Dedede, continuously telling the penguin "king" not to mention it or how he, had the reverse been true, may very well had done the same. Had Parasol been alive at that moment, he probably would have refuted this point of view, but alas, he wasn't.

One explanation of the situation later…

"So let me get this straight," King Dedede said, "You two so are convinced that you can take on that Ho-Ho that you're going to march right up to its nest and beat it up?" Kirby nodded stupidly while making the sweetest face he could. Seriously, whenever Kirby made a face like the one he did here, the rate of diabetes in citizens skyrocketed and, with one thing leading to another, spelled doom for local health care plans that covered diabetes. To this day, many average workers curse the name of the pink abomination that did this amidst all the paperwork and anger sex. "Well, don't worry boy! I'll help ya!"

"Really?"

"Nope! I'm off to some castle in Iceberg that I have no recollection of building! See ya!"

And with those words, King Dedede changed into an even more Pimpish outfit, pushed a button on his hammer which turned it into a cane, snapped his fingers, and walked towards a limo with the two 'Mrs. Dededes'. After that, the two watched as Dedede's three mile long limousine rode off into the sunset.

Kirby and Parasol thus, started out on the path for Candy Mountain. It will probably be a vicious journey wrought with peril, danger, and massive collateral damage. But if they can beat up a fat penguin in the span of three chapters, then, dang it they can do anything!

**And, with that, Kirby and Parasol return to adventure once more…**


	6. Bonfire Part 2: The BLAM chapter!

Kirby: The Super Star Wars

Bonfire of the Birdies part 2

**Fair warning: Most of Cocoa Caves is a BLAM (Big lipped alligator moment) chapter. Feel free to skip up until the appropriate time card.**

Kirby and Parasol's journey screeched to a halt when they found their second obstacle of the day: A giant fancy castle sitting in the middle of the road. Kirby, not to be deterred from catching his own legendary Pokémon, pulled out a map and inspected it until he nodded and told Parasol his master plan.

"You want to go _through it?!_" Parasol exclaimed as his friend nodded happily. Parasol looked worried; Kirby had a pretty bad habit of causing collateral damage to the interior of buildings and sometimes to the exterior! He shook his… head (?). He remembered when Butter Building used to actually be painted butter. With actual butter. "All right, we already trespassed into buildings before, but remember _one_ thing: When we leave, **that castle had better be in one piece! Do you **_**understand?!**_" And that was how the two entered the castle.

_Meanwhile in the study room…_

Trident Knight coached his troops right and left, in preparation for his dark master's plan of using a ba-

"Hey! Don't go around yelling out everyone's evil plans disembodied narrator guy person!" said a voice with a tangy pirate accent- sorry. Trident Knight then went back to coaching his men in the arts of several techniques such as the "slap", the "punch" and even the dreaded "poke with your trident- mace-thingy". After their exercises for the day, the men started to make their way to the showers.

"And be careful out there! Remember: _**we can't let anyone get to the safe where we hid the schematics to lord Meta Knight's evil scheme, nor the place where we hid the copy ability pedestals!" **_He screamed. Then he turned around and saw Kirby and Parasol standing there. "Arr… don't mind me, I'm a pirate?" He said hopefully. Kirby and Parasol kept staring. "Arr… Pirates/ Keta-Mnights! _Attack!_"

_What followed was a long drawn out battle so cool, that it would Ragnarok look merely like a fancy tea party. Mountains were destroyed, corn was flung, women's bloomers were tossed into the air and three seconds afterwards, Kirby and Parasol exited the room unscathed. _

"You know, had he been an axe knight, I would have bought that." Kirby replied whilst climbing up a ladder, having been "given" the ninja ability from the poor sucker in the mausoleum/garden. Why these people have a mausoleum in their garden or a ladder in lieu of stairs is beyond even I, the disembodied narrator person guy.

"Kirby, didn't you hear what the wimpy trident guy said? This is Meta Knight's stronghold (Huh, I never thought Meta Knight would own a castle this adorable.) What is he up to that would require him to hide the copy pedestals?" The two thought about this briefly before Kirby shrugged.

"I dunno, maybe it's behind that secret door over there." Kirby then went to the other side of a pyramid of blocks, came back with the mirror ability, shot a bunch of mirrors at the pyramid causing it to… explode revealing a secret door.

"_**HOW?!"**_

"Silly Waddle Dee, I know lots of things! _Lots of things!"_ and so the destructive duo entered the door.

_Meanwhile… in a room kind of like that room where Vader talks to the hologram-ghost-guy of Senator- I mean- The Emperor… _

"And that's how I narrowly escaped with me life. And also how I decided to become a pirate. Arr." Trident Knight said to the hologram-ghost-guys of a Pelliper wearing a navy captain's outfit and a puffball wearing a mask. The navy bird looked at a report and said in a voice that reeked of suspicion,

"That's odd because your report claims that you screamed like a little girl when you got hit by an umbrella."

"That was a typo."

"And the ninja sharks?"

"Completely and utterly, 100%, true. Anyway, even though the child and his friend got past me, I can assure you that they will never get into the room with the button that opens the copy ability chamber! I even got one of my best simirrors to guard it!" Meta Knight put aside the schematics for the barricade and looked at Trident Knight.

"…You put a simirror in front of a barricade that can only be destroyed with the powers of either Grayskull or a mirror?"

"Yes!-Wait…" Trident Knight looked to see a pathway exploding into existence, blowing away everything in its sinisterly pleasant path.

"Err… I'll get back to you."

_Outside on the battle mounts…_

"Man, it's a good thing that wall of psychic energy sure was slow, huh Parasol?" The two friends were now standing outside of the castle, having ran into a dead end, gone through another route until they found Kirby's Warp Star randomly in that hallway, and used it to blast their way to the other side of the wall. Why they didn't fly straight to the mountain where the Dynablade lived was completely unasked.

"Wait, why didn't we simply fly to the mountain where Dynablade-"

"What Dynablade? Parasol, focus. We're hunting down a Ho-Oh! Come, keep up!"

Oh, that's why. Parasol, with terrible luck still plaguing him, was hit by a wheelie and sent flying across the yard. In a rare display of actual avenging, Kirby (somehow) grabbed the wheelie and proceeded to throw it into another wheelie, somehow creating a slightly larger star. Kirby's eyes widened upon realizing his Kirby 64 powers were in affect and made a giant grin.

"Okay Bonkers, me scurvy dog," Trident knight said into his communication device. "Be on the lookout for a pink landlubber who may be on his way to stop our sinister plans!" Bonkers gave a salute then and there.

"Don't worry sir!" He vowed. "I will not let that! That tiny butterball will have to get past me and my trusty hammer before he leaves these premesis-BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-"

"… Oh dear."

Parasol awoke with shock when Kirby threw a bucket of water into his face. He checked his surroundings. Kirby, mallet, wheelie bike, castle intact and boss gate- No sign of collateral damage at all?! It's a miracle! The waddle dee arose and pointed towards Cocoa Caves. "Come on Kirby! We've got a giant rainbow bird to stop!"

Before following his friend, Kirby took one last look at the castle. The vibrant colors, the rich textures, the trident pirate scurrying left and right while holding the blue prints to a massive creation,… he was going to mi- hey a peg!

* * *

><p>It was beautiful. Millions from all over recorded the collapse of Marshmallow Castle (killing everything inside) and watched it for centuries to come.<p>

* * *

><p>Cocoa Caves was an untamed maze of a cave. Creatures from various walks of life inhabited the cave, and slept soundly even though the whole place was like a can of shaken soda pop; ready to burst at any-<p>

"Disembodied narrator person guy? Can we skip this level too? It's so boring!" Parasol looked back at Kirby, who was currently shoryukening a helpless noddy.

"Kirby, as boring as this trip is, you know as well as I do that the quickest way to Candy Mountain is through this cave." Kirby responded by throwing a **ACTION POLAR BEAR WARRIOR! **into a wall and huffing.

"Link is so lucky. I bet he doesn't wonder around in caves all day."

_Meanwhile…_

Link and Navi had finally stopped their bickering and went to the Temple of Time (_Time… time… time…) _ to put in the three spiritual stones to unlock the way into the realm of gold, and spirit, and virgins, and soap, and spoons, and calendars, and boxes and-

"Disembodied narrator person guy, I think we get the point." Navi interrupted ever so rudely. "Okay Link, just put the stones into the slots and we can- Link?" The blue fairy had noted that her human love interest- I mean companion! was awfully quiet. Link then turned to Navi and sighed.

"Navi," Link started, "Do you think that there are other heroes who do a lot better in terms of what they explore? I mean, I bet somewhere there's somebody taking the fact that they explore caves for granted." Navi gave him an "Are you actually kidding me" look.

"You explored a cave, what are you grumbling about?!"

"That's right Navi, _a_ cave. I've also had the displeasure of exploring the inside of a giant tree/my father figure and a giant fish. Now, I'm sad, wet, slightly on fire AND I need new boots!"

"What's wrong with the ones you have on now?"

Link sighed even further, sat down, tugged off one of his boots and held it in front of his annoying yet helpful companion. There, amongst all the gastric juices, burning leaves help together by burning webs, and dragon-fish…thing saliva, was a stamp saying "All of your rupees are belong to Tingle. Tingle Tingle, Koolimpa! (Note: This phrase is protected under copyright law. If used, the user has the right to be stalked by Tingle who will proceed to decode maps at outrageous prices in a manner that would put Slenderman and Tom Nook to shame.)"

"One. I think you should get new boots. Two. It could be worse. You could be living on that blue and green planet which is being covered in that Dark Matter cloud."

"Yes, but _still…_" And so the two bickered for even longer, much to the annoyance of one of the four white pillars in the room who could be at the "Big Bads of Evil" meeting by now.

_Meanwhile… with the BBE…_

"Where in the blue blazes is Ganon?!" Dr. "Eggman" Robotnik yelled angrily. The villains were currently in the Doctor's fortress, Scrap Brain Zone, and were enjoying some quality scones as they discussed their recent acts of villainy. Bowser looked up from his DS Tetris game at the mention of his fellow evil king's name.

"Oh yeah! Mandrag told me that he was gonna be late. Something about a "Tryforc" and "Ultimate Power!" You know the usual." Bowser then unpaused his game as he tried to score a Tetris consisting of twelve lines. Albert Wily looked puzzled and looked to his companions as to whether to send Bass, Metal Sonic, or Bowser Jr. after Ganondorf when a voice, backed by millions of other voices echoed out.

"_**Shall we get them?"**_ The normal villains turned to look at the "Cruel, psycho or both" table consisting of Zero, The King of Sorrow, Professor Ein, Giygue and the Dark Star all sitting around a table playing a nice, calm game of Poker. Further down, one could see King Boo, Nightmare, Dark Nebula, Vaati, Dark Link and Mephiles The Dark, all shouting and laughing while either playing "Crazy Sixty Fours (The hip new card game for the youths of tomorrow) and/or drinking Chateau Romani. The normal villains marched right up to the eviler ones and scoffed.

"What are you guys doing here anyway?" Wily asked, "Most of you aren't even threats anymore. At least six of you are dead."

"Yeah Cyclops! You, your friends, nor any of your 'subjects' are threats at the moment!" Bowser similarly mocked. Zero looked to his companions for a moment before responding. "I see we need to set an example for our group. Let's list one of the minor offenses, just to get the ball going. Remember the Great Bay Temple?" Bowser had the urge to scrunch his 3DS before nodding, along with Eggman and Wily. Then Zero said three words that drove the room into dead silence.

"That was us."

_Meanwhile…in the Water Temple…_

Link grunted angrily as he put down the Master Sword. He had just finished an encounter with Dark Link, which actually went pretty quicker than usual because Link was filled with RAGE (TM) over the dungeon's obnoxiousness. The whole place had seemed designed to waste time; He wound up somehow using the wrong key on the wrong door, leading him to scramble around for a second key that, he knew in his heart, was not there. And the water levels. Oh Hylia, the water levels! Link had to constantly open his hat/trunk/hammerspace compartment, fish out the iron boots (Which mysteriously involves him pausing for a few seconds and, sometimes, the length of a Sonic 06 loading screen) do something underwater, take _off_ the boots, repeat ad nauseum.

"Stupid water temple." He muttered before screaming to the heavens, **"I hereby doom every poor unfortunate soul who comes after me to terrible luck with water, and to suffer like I have!"**

"… Gee, isn't that kinda harsh?" Navi questioned. Link shook his head grimly whilst heading back to the water.

Meanwhile… in a parallel universe…

Zelda looked up from where she was threading together a shopping bag to see a piece of driftwood floating along the Zora River. And on that Driftwood was a certain hero…

"Oh Link, you have been gone for so long… why do you have a bottle between your-"

"The sea… she is a lonely place…" Link shuddered as he looked towards the gleaming, grimacing-

* * *

><p>"<strong>Alright already!<strong>" The scene then cut to Kirby and Parasol at the exit of the cave. "We've wasted approximately half this chapter with random nonsense that will never be relevant. Ever." With that, the duo turned their attention to the exit door, floating without a boss. Parasol and Kirby simply stood there waiting for the boss that will never show up. "Where's the boss?!"

Kirby suddenly smacked his head to his…stub as he realized with shock, "Fred must still be visiting the "City of Smashing into Rocks!"

"…_Death Ray of Deathly Deathness."_

_*BZZT*_

"…_Deathly Death Ray of Deathly Deathness."_

_*BZZT*_

"_Death Deadly Death Ray of Death Deadly Deathness."_

_*BZZT*_

"…"

"It should be okay to pass through the exit undaunted."

Parasol didn't need to be told twice. He quickly ran through the doorway, ran into the clean freedom of daytime… only to be grabbed by a ball hand and thrown into the far off Candy Mountain. Kirby's pathway to his friend was cleverly blocked by an old acquaintance of his…

"_**I'VE FINALLY FOUND YOU!"**_

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry for the late update, but I've been focusing on another fanfic for the past few months. Just waltz on over to the Smash Bros section or my profile page to see but be warned: It's shaping up to be pretty dark.<strong>

**In the meantime, I am slowly but surely still working on this fic (The Gourmet Race chapter to be correct) but due to the size I think this will take, I've wanted to get "Adventure Mode" off the ground before another idea comes up and takes my steam into that. **

**Either way, stay tuned for the conclusion to Bonfire of the Birdees!**


	7. Bonfire Conclusion: Ho-Oh's Final Flight

**Holy Burning Chocobo on a rotisserie wheel Batman! It's an update?!**

**I'm sorry for not having worked on any of my stories for a long time but exams + procrastination does not equal progress.**

**News for my stories is also not looking good. I've grown dissatisfied with Adventure Mode (…again) and I feel like rebooting it because I feel that it can be written better (and made even less complicated.)**

**Likewise, as you can guess, my stories may enter Valve Time/Duke Nukem Forever time.**

**Last but not least be sure to look at the poll on my profile and vote for whether I should be working on Adventure Mode Chapter 5 and or Reboot, The Super Star Wars or Bowser's Modern Life.**

**Until then, enjoy your conclusion.**

* * *

><p>Bonfire of the Birdees<p>

The Riveting Conclusion!

The skies of Candy Mountain were alight with shiny shooting beams as the two super saiyans continued to fight. Yes, it seems that now we will finally know the end result of this climatic battle between…Vegeta and Raditz. How and why are they fighting? Maybe it has something to do with the Dragon Balls. Maybe this is one of the video games. Maybe this is telling us that the author is about to make an assuredly horribly inaccurate reference to a show he hasn't seen in years and cause all of the fans to come out of the woodwork and berate him. And speaking of which, a few miles away, Kirby and Iron Mam were currently playing Rock-Paper-Scissors. Not once did Kirby think to pick something other than rock, regardless of having no limbs.

"Blast! I am losing this ultimate battle of Life and Death" Kirby said as his mouth moved out of sync with his words. I must remember the teachings of my master!"

_Flashback_

_We are shown the view of a temple. The temple, looking slightly like a vault, didn't really look like a temple. In fact, it looked like an extremely stereotypical of either a Japanese or Chinese dojo. Kirby is seen knelling in front of a boy. The boy had brown hair and wore red and yellow clothing which…actually made him slightly resemble Dr. Eggman. Oh my gosh, my mind is blown right now._

"_Kirby," He began, his mouth also moving out of sync for some reason. "You are free to go. I have taught you all I can about Jan-Ken-Pon."_

"_Master, is there any thing that you want me to do like, say, punch Mario or Sonic in the face."_

_Alex Kidd shook his head. "No, I have long since patched that wound long ago."_

"_Would it help?"_

"_Yes, yes it would."_

Kirby suddenly realized that that flashback did not help him at all. "Fine, I must go into my ultimate form!" Kirby then did one twirl. Two. Three. BLAMMMO! Kirby transformed; He was buffer, slightly taller and had a rainbow of colored flashing hair. "Haha! I have finally moved up! Now Kakorat, face the wrath of **Super Duper Saiyan Kirby!**"

"_**OH YEAH?!**_" Mam also did three twirls along with a split, turning her armor rainbow as well as giving her super spiky hair. I'm serious about forty five percent of anime heroes just went to the corner out of shame at failing to match the goofiness of Mam's hair. "_**I AM NOW SUPER DUPER SCOOPER SAIYAN**__**!**_"

Kirby, undaunted raised his level again "I am now **Super Duper Pooper Scooper Saiyan!**"

*Swop* "_**SUPER DUPER POOPER BOOPER SCOOPER HOOPER SAIYAN**_"

Kirby looked shocked and offended at the subsequent power upping.

"**Hey, that's not fair! You can only go up one level at a time!"**

"_**WHO SAYS?!**__**"**_

And thus, it devolved into a slap fight. The greatest slap fight ever to grace Japanese animation.

As Kirby was having the most climatic battle in Anime history, Parasol climbed slowly up the mountain, still trying to gain his own legendary Ho-Oh.

"No I'm not! I'm trying to stop the Dynablade before it destroys more of the crops!"

Sure you are.

"Grr…"

Either way, he was quickly attacked by four evil baddies!

"Prepare for trouble and it'll be sweet!"

"Make it double and really neat!"

"To protect these citizens from devouration!"

"To stop that puffball…"

"…And his complications"

"To denounce the evils of Kirby and his friends."

"To make golly gee they won't reach the end!"

"Bonkers!"

"Mr. Flosty

"Chef Kawasaki!"

"…"

"Team Miniboss comes into sight!"

"Surrender now or see the light!"

"Poppy Bros Sr…"

"…That's Right!"

Parasol stood stock still as he looked at the minibosses. "Er… Do I know you guys?"

Bonkers stood forward, puffing out his chest and swinging his hammer around. He got a steely look in his eye

"You and that pink golf ball are going to pay for running me over in the castle from earlier!"

"…Sorry, I don't remember you."

"_**What?!**_"

" I don't remember any of you. In fact," Parasol pointed to Kawasaki and the Poppy Bros. "I don't think either of you even appeared in this fanfiction yet.

The minibosses looked depressed.

"Aw, shucks." Mr Flosty "oh well then, we'll be off. Sorry to dis-"

Suddenly all of them were killed when Mam hit them like a missile.

"Take _that_ you she-demon!

At last, Kirby and Parasol reached the top of the mountain, Kirby's warpstar ready to take them to the lair of the Dyna Blade. The bird's nest was not visible to the naked eye, but the giant neon signs and the free tourist brochure offered at the summit both claimed to know the location.

"Alright Waddle Dee, did you remember to bring everything?"

The enemy type, not realizing the importance of this question, nodded.

"Good! Now, if there will be no more interruptions…" Kirby and Parasol leapt onto the warp star. The mysteriously powered craft flew high in the air, taking its occupants to the summit of Candy Mountain.

"**Let's go catch us a Ho-Oh!"**

* * *

><p><strong>Ho-Oh- er Dynablade's Nest,<strong>

**Candy Summit**

The Warp Star crashed horribly, depositing its cargo on the floor. The air was still, holding its breath for the inevitable crash or awakening to reality. Silence dominated the unwilling mood, excitement building up to the grand finale. Tension hung on the mountain in the same way weights do. All waiting…

Oh no.

_It's her!_

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

…

* * *

><p><strong>A wild HO-OH appeared!<strong>

The rainbow bird zoomed into the foreground using her amazing Mode 7 powers and landed in front of the puffballs(?).

"Okay, Parasol, send out Squirtle!"

"Um… we don't have a squirtle."

Kirby gave Waddle Dee the "sassy _What?_" look.

"I thought I asked you before we came here if we had everything we need?!"

"I didn't realize we apparently needed Pokémon."

Kirby looked annoyed, but sighed.

"Okay, we'll just have to fight it ourselves. You first."

"Wait,wha-"

**What will PARASOL do?**

**FIGHT ITEM**

**POKEYMENZ RUN**

"Kirby, what do I do?!"

"Choose an option."

"um, fight?"

**UMBRELLA TWIRL DEFENSIVE CURL**

**SPLASH FAINT ATTACK**

"**Why do I have only two attack moves?"**

"**Just pick one!"**

…

**PARASOL used Umbrella Twirl!**

**Waddle Dee found himself jumping into the air and striking the Ho-Oh in the bird face with his signature item. The bird glared with the intensity of five frowny faces.**

**It's not very effective…**

**HO-OH used Sacred Fire!**

**The Ho-Oh started snarting and snorting. Before Waddle Dee could question what a "sacred fire" was, he was suddenly attacked by flaming loogies. **

**PARASOL got a burn!**

**PARASOL was injured by its burn!**

'**Parasol, tag me in!"**

"**Gladly! Pokémon, please.**

_**One shift later**_

**What will KIRBY do?**

**FIGHT**** ITEM**

**POKERMANZ RUN**

**INHALE HAMMER**

**FINAL CUTTER**** ROOK**

…

**KIRBY used Final Cutter!**

**Kirby took out his cutter blade and started swatting Ho-Oh with it. The rainbow bird Pokémon chuckled at its ineffectiveness… Until Kirby swatted it in the eye. **

**Enraged, the pretty bird flew up into the sky.**

**HO-OH soared!**

"**Kirby!" Parasol called out about to state the obvious. "The Dynablade's using it's **_**Mode 7**_** powers!"**

**HO-OH used Fly!**

**Sure enough, the Ridley ripoff flew into the foreground, ignoring the universes silly "2dimensional" rule. Kirby was sufficiently harmed by the Super Paper Mario move, but refused to give.**

**FIGHT**** ITEM**

**POKERMANZ RUN**

**INHALE ****HAMMER**

**FINAL CUTTER ROOK**

**Instead, the battered puffball took out a hammer and smacked Ho-Oh in the beak with it. This move not only dropped the Pokémon's health to the yellow but also stunned it!**

**HO-OH flinched!**

"_**We have a shot!"**_** our heroes cheered, as the anime rendition of the Hoenn Elite Four started blaring ****triumphantly**

**KIRBY used Final Cutter!**

**Kirby charged at the Ho-Oh with the cutter blade yet again. Unfortunately the bird was wise to his tactics and retaliated with talons. Kirby rolled sideways around the first swipe, under the second swipe and wound up in a blade lock with Ho-Oh. It grinned maliciously at the foolish challenger.**

"**Hey Featherface!"**

**Parasol charged the beast and, with a swipe of his umbrella, separated the dueling challengers. He then attacked the Dyna Blade, which blocked with its talons.**

…**leaving it open for a strike from Kirby.**

**HO-OH used Ariel Ace!**

**Upset at this turn of events, the Dyna Blade once again took to the skies. This time, instead of going Super Paper Mario on the pests, it opted to land on the instead. Thankfully, this attack was easily telegraphed, interpreted and rewritten by Kirby and Parasol who fled in time.**

**KIRBY avoided the attack!**

**KIRBY used Inhale.**

**The Dyna Blade's little temper tantrum kicked up many stars. Kirby noticed them and looked at Waddle Dee with sly understanding. The look was returned as Waddle Dee distracted the Dyna Blade whilst Kirby gobbled the stars.**

**KIRBY is inhaling star power!**

**Dyna Blade looked out of the corner of its eye and its maw fell open in horror as it saw Kirby, mouth full and glaring. Out of desperation, Dyna Blade glided slightly up. This time however, it grabbed Parasol.**

"**Hey, what are-"**

**HO-OH used Brave Bird!**

**Dyna Blade threw the stunned Parasol in hopes of dislodging to stars in Kirby's mouth. And dislodge them it did.**

**They were dislodged right into Dyna Blade's face.**

**The bird stumbled, unsure of how much more abuse it could take.**

"**That Pokémon is on the verge of collapsing!" The announcer said in shock."**

**Kirby ran forward with a spherical and black/whitish object in his hands.**

"**Ultra Ball GO!"**

**Kirby threw the Pokéball and watched as the Dynablade disappeared into the ball in a red light, silently shedding a tear as it did so.**

**One shake.**

**Two.**

**Three…**

**Aw Yeah! HO-OH was caught!**

**HO-OH's data has been added to the Pokédex!**

**Would you like to nickname HO-OH?**

* * *

><p>Kirby and Waddle Dee stood there, at first stunned by the revelation, soon jumped into the air in celebration.<p>

"Kirby, we did it! We saved Dream Land's crops!"

"Yay! I caught a Ho-Oh!"

They danced a dance of victory. They danced in a way that showed that they were the champions, friends! And they will keep fighting towards-

*Chirp Chirp*

-eh?

"Waddle Dee?"

"Yes?"

"Do you hear chirping?"

The Dynamic duo walked a little to the right of the battleground and spied a nest. Inside the nest lay three yellow chicklets chirping loudly to get the attention of their mommy, whose corpse was currently stuffed inside a tiny ball. Waddle Dee turned to Kirby and saw that they both had exceedingly guilty looks on their faces.

"Waddle Dee? Did it ever occur to you that…"

"…The monster was a mommy?"

Kirby and Parasol were silent at the thought that they just murdered a poor, defenseless bird, leaving its babies to die. Kirby got a happy smile on his face.

"Don't worry Parasol, we can raise them ourselves! After all, I believe in magic! Right Smash Bros. cast?" Suddenly, every character that has ever been in Smash Bros (plus Meowth for some reason) suddenly came out of nowhere.

"Right Kirby!" They all said.

Parasol was speechless.

"…You're joking right? Seriously, are you?!"

* * *

><p><em><strong>Super happy musical number set to "Do You Believe in Magic" by "The Lovein' Spoonful<strong>_" _**as montage starts up where:**_

_**-Kirby and Parasol take the birds to Coo, who offers them a temporary home.**_

_**-Kirby feeds the birds with apples from Whispy Woods. (Whispy tried to plead with Kirby but he was ignored.)**_

_**-Kirby and Waddle Dee sent the birds to Mario who teaches them Typing and Letters.**_

_**-The birds attack Mario when they see how soul-crushingly dull it all is.**_

_**-And finally, how Kirby, whilst taking the birds out for a flight, was found by the giant Ho-Oh who nodded and took her younglings back.**_

_**Everyone stared out at the birds shrinking into the distance.**_

"_**And to think," Kirby started, "Ho-Oh did all this because it wanted to feed its young."**_

_**Ridley came out of nowhere, destroyed several of Dream Land's crops, and abducted Parasol before twiddling his handlebar mustache and disappearing into the sunset.**_

"_**So… Ho-Oh was innocent after all…" King Dedede (still with the two 'Mrs. Dededes) and several villagers noticed.**_

"_**Ridley…" Samus muttered under her breath.**_

_**Everyone continued dancing. **_

_**To Be Continued…. No not Bonfire itself. But,**_

_**The Super Star Wars!**_

* * *

><p><strong>No, I am not giving up on the Super Star Wars nor do I feel like I need to rewrite it. That I can (99%) guarantee. So next time: A cave that, whilst great, is not at all offensive is explored by Kirby in the, not Star Wars titled, <strong>_**Indiana Kirby and the Kingdom of the Golden…Triangle. Thingy.**_

(Oh my Nightmare I wrote a halfway decent fight scene!)


End file.
